Friday, January 25, 2008

14 easy steps to transition from being a communist pig to a Libertarian

Of late I have been getting a few requests from communists wanting to know how to transition to Libertarianism so after some thought I decided to put up a help list for those serious about making the jump.

- Resign from your union
- Burn that Lada car in a blaze of pollution
- Burn your pictures of Stalin, Guevara and Castro from your office walls and replace with Ayn Rand,
- Burn all those reggae, roots and hiphop records and purchase a bit of Johnny Rebel and other country greats
- Throw out all that vegan food and get back to eating broiler farmed meat, McDonalds and KFC
- All good Libertarians must be church going bible thumper
- Cease all 'enturbulation' of libertarians, scientologist and objectivists
- You must publicly agree that the word 'enturbulation' was in the English dictionary before Ron Hubbard made it up.

- Purchase a German SS uniform, you can buy these from any gun show around the country, and wear it around the house, in the office, at any Libertarian get together, birthday parties etc. Its quite easy to slip some 'Uncle Jessie' overalls over the top if you have to go into town for supplies.
- While in uniform you can do things like play a bit of Johnny Rebel with the wireless cranked up, or whistle Dixie, or even better, learn the lyrics to Dixie and sing it in uniform
- Replace the use of the word 'comrade' with the Scientologists 'Varmer Bruder'. Instead of 'greetings comrade', you can use, 'greeting mein varmer bruder'.
- Get them womenfolk pregnant and back in that there kitchen where theys there belooongs.
- Buy some 'Uncle Jessie' (Dukes of Hazard) overalls and a straw hat
- Watch this list of movies:
Communism is bad

Red Dawn

Learn what you are afaid of


Anonymous said...

Hehe you're an enturbulator through and through Loudoon.

Trevour Loudoon said...

I do like to spend the quiet nights alone with a jug of cider, enturbulating in front of the fire.