Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Howto: of protecting your child from communism

Its ads like this that remind me of why, in this day and age, with all the knowledge we now know about parenting, of why it is so important to remember the ways of the caveman from Europe who beat his children to deliver their souls from hell.

It is the right, nay it is the duty of each parent to prevent the spread of Green Party dope smoking, free-love communism in this country by opposing their greenification of our beloved anglosaxon culture.

We here at the Loudoon homestead believe that parents should be able to choose the best method of whacking their their children, teaching them the difference between right and communism.

We need a return to the days wholesome corporal punishment. Lets take a moment to remember those fond days of paddling little Johnny on the buttocks for drawing communist symbols on the wall with crayons.

What about at school back in the day when you as a parent could have the peace of mind that should young timmy draw pictures of black flags or a capitalism free society, that the head dean could legally take down his pants in front of the class and take to him with the leather strap and whack that communism right out of him.

This is the world we are advocating protection for.
.
5 quick steps to a better Johnny:

1. What do you do if you find young johnny reading a bit of Trotsky or God forbid, Darwin or worse, Goldman?

Answer: Give him a good whipping, for the bible tells you so

2. You catch young Johnny downloading illegal mp3's on the internet, what to do?

Answer: Give him a good whoopin, because as we all know, when you pirate mp3's you're downloading communism.

3. Johnny is caught spray painting anarchist symbols on the neighbours freshly painted wall....
Answer: thaaaats a whoopin!

4. You find a Che Guevara teeshirt in his drawer...
Answer: yup, a whoopin

5. Young Johnny heads off to Mexico to join the Zapatistas
Answer: you have failed and your son is now a communist.

Its not too late, fortunately you have more kids. Get to whoopin them before the Greens turn them into rebelious, devil loving, hell heading communist demons.



23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Weve got to be able to keep them parents a paddling to curve the rise of communist heathenism

Cletas said...

Help me Trevour, I checked my sons browser history and not only is he using the communist firefox, but hes been visiting Indymedia. What shall I do???

Trevour Loudoon said...

Yup, give that little critter a good old fashioned whoopin'

Anonymous said...

Sue Bradford has turned my child toward Greenism. Last night I caught him watching Al Gores communist manifesto documentary and I just don't know what to do. I have tried everything in a parents arsenal, from spanking him, beating him, and giving him a good whoopin. Please Trevour, tell me what to do????

Anonymous said...

This appears to only advocate a good whuppin' for the littel waywards Johnnies - what about Janey, and her unsavoury habits?

How should one discipline a wayward daughter?

Trevour Loudoon said...

I knew one of you heathen slimy little communist, twinkle-toed anarchists would ask that question, the answer is of course....and has been for the last 1500 years of our glorious history....a whoopin.

Jasper said...

Talkin' out of turn... that's a paddlin'.
Lookin' out the window.... that's a paddlin'.
Starin' at my sandals.... that's a paddlin'.
Paddlin' the school canoe... oh, you'd better believe that's a paddlin'.

Anonymous said...

We have the right to take the rod to our children. God has given us that right. It is in the word of God. People like yourselves who believe in Antichrist methods, methods opposed to the will of God, are half the reason for the mass of wayward non-churched and fornicating youth culture that exists today.

Anonymous said...

A boy called 111 after learning about the new child discipline regulations at school. The 11-year-old turned to police fearing he was assaulted by his parents. Fortunately our brave police force stepped in to convince him he had been delving in communism and fortunately his parents had intervened early to paddle it out of his ass.

Trevour Loudoon said...

Yup, nothin a good old hearty paddlin' would fix.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god I didn't realise just how far your country has slipped into communism. Children ringing up and dobbing in their parents for exercising their god given responsibility to keep our children out of hell. Police going around schools educating children to dob their parents in if they exercise their god given duty. This is reminiscent of the fascist East German secret police units.

Spanky Harden said...

Ever have that problem where your whoppin stick keeps breakin, well now as with everything in life, someone has commodified this sicko aspect of westernity, and now you can buy whopping rods online....
http://www.spare-rods.com/

Gunny Sgt Hartman said...

Very soon we will have the power to send these little disobedient turds to the Army. In the Army we will show them how the free world will conquer Communism with the aid of God, and a few Marines!

Anonymous said...

Um, communism is not the reason children disobey their parents. Its about coming to terms with authoritarian parenting which children initially rebel against, and at times like adults, will test the waters.

Gunny Sgt Hartman said...

Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little anonymous communist shit, pinko who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your asshole is sucking buttermilk!!!

What they need is discipline not pinko nambie pambiness! Send them to the Army! If they survive training, they will be a weapon. I'll transform their anarchist lovin zapatista supporting arses to be a minister of death praying for war!!!

Anonymous said...

This whole anti smacking bill just reeks of state interference. Once upon a time one could give their children a good hiding without fear of the law turning up. You could take their pants down in public and whack their bare backsides until they screamed. It was also quite common practice to tie your children up in the back yard (especially up till the 60s), if they were really bad. Now the state says that these nerandathalic cultural practices are illegal and we really need to get this petition completed and force that referendum upon the nation of voters.

Anonymous said...

"someone has commodified this sicko aspect of westernity, and now you can buy whopping rods online...."
Yeah, see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OakGQWFHPg

Anonymous said...

Not only is it my Christian duty to beat my children to protect them from Satan, it is also great exercise and better than watching the news, which is usual crammed with crappy stories about fundamentalist muslims.

Anonymous said...

You can beat your children, as long as it is in the spirit of love.

Anonymous said...

You people are sick!

Steve Nice Guy Northland said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gunny Sgt Hartman !

Steve Nice Guy Northland said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Gunny Sgt Hartman !

Whackem4Luv said...

While giving the sprogs their morning whoppin I thought about the other 300,000 or so people in this country that supported the petition for a referendumb to do away with the smacking ban knowing that they would also be doing exactly the same as me, giving their litter a good paddling before brekky, and it made me feel united to a cause.