Saturday, December 20, 2008

Loudoons 5 steps to prevent your child from joining the Jihad.

After receiving so many heart felt cries from parents concerned that their children have been caught up in the jihad epidemic sweeping this lawless unsmacked nation following the revelations by National Business Reviews Editor and Chief Neville Gibson, that activism leads to Jihad, we here at the Loudon Institute for Moral Parenting knew we had a job to do to help parents prevent this tragedy happening.

Here is our quick 5 steps to prevent your child from joining the Jihad.



Step 1: Learn to spot the pre-signs of Jihad. This could be the movies they are watching, do they watch too many documentaries vs Hollywood blockbusters. This could be a sign that Jihad is building in your child. Your task as a parent is to ban educational documentaries, ban the watching of certain liberal shows like On the Matt, The Daily Show and other shows that lead to Jihad.

Step2: Begin surveillance on your children. Without being too over the top, hidden video cameras, paid informants are just two tools that will assist you in seeing jihad coming before its too late.

Step3: Talk regularly to your children about why they should be eating meat and destroying the environment. Spank any child (in love) that shows pre-signs that they may respect the environment and animals.

We need our children to understand that we need to eat animals because of the whole Cain and Abel sacrifice thing in the bible, and we know what happened to Cain the vegetarian...he became a terrorist jihadist.

Step 4: Identify the signs of Jihad. This could be a Che Guevara teeshirt, for boys it could be a lack of interest in guns, bombs and violence, for girls it could be a desire to not shave their armpits, wear perfume or go mall shopping. Once your child begins to show these signs, its pretty much a give in that they will be heading up the Kyber Pass into terror training in Hindu Kush.

Step 5: Act, once you have singled out the children that are beyond help, quickly have them shipped off to military school for retraining, at the very least, ring your local Precrimes Office and dob your child in.

13 comments:

Ron McDuck said...

Dear Trevour
I caught young timmy watching inappropriate content on tv last night and have banned him from ever viewing freeview channel 7 again.

The images of the horror I saw on that channel is just beyond...I just cant bring myself to describe it without tears of fear coming upon me.

Trevour, Timmy was watching history documentarys, filling his head with all sorts of leftest knowledge.

I need to know, is it too late for young Timmy, should I ring the Precrimes Unit at Otahuhu?

Help me Please!!!

Trevour Loudoon said...

Greetings Ron, and thanks for coming to us first, you did the right thing.

Young children should not be spending their quality TV time watching leftest media designed to fill their heads with dangerous information.

Rather there are plenty of other channels on TV for them that are safe to watch like the HBO channels, Cartoon Channels etc etc etc.

What you are seeing is the beginnings of Jihad in young Timmy. First theres the clandestined watching of inappropriate materials, but you have to keep in mind that this need for leftest knowledge such as history, would not have happened overnight.

If I were you I would also check the history in your computers web browser and I bet poor young Timmy has been visiting the local NZ portal for Jihad, Indymedia.

I am sorry to say this but young Timmy is beyong help, its just a matter of time before the brainwashing he has been inflicted with will cause 'free thought', and eventually...and God forbid it....activism....and by default, a 'worldview'.

Like our great mentor Neville Gibson says, activists inevitably 'buy into a worldview and jihad is a part of it'.

So chop chop Ron, get on that free hotline 0800 STOPJIHAD and dob your child into the Precrimes unit TODAY.

Loudick Headstrom said...

I was in town earlier today and came upon a man getting out of a soviet Lada car. Immediately I looked up expecting Red Dawn to be upon us but there were no paratroopers in sight. I asked him when he would be heading up the Kyber Pass into jihadsville Hindu Kush and he told me he would be heading up there after lunch.

I knew he was either lying to me or mistaken my question to be about Kyber Pass, New Market so I just called him a terrorist and rang 0900-PRECRIMES to dob him in.

Anonymous said...

Haha good one, made my day.

SNGN said...

KIA ORA FELLOW DEVILISH PEOPLE. GET YOUR ASSES ON OVER TO THE IMPOSTOR BLOG OF LUMP'A'LARD LOUDON.

SOME GOOD SHIT GOIN ON OVER THERE WITH CONTRIBUTIONS FROM HOLOCAUST NAZIS FRIED OF AMERIKA AND NOTED FANATICAL ZIONIST (LOVES AND EJACULATES OVER THE 100 DAILY BODY COUNT OF PALESTINIANS AND STILL COUNTING), MAD MAH OF MADOFFSVILLE.

AND IMPOSTOR LUMP'A'LARD LOUDON CONGRATULATES THEM REGULARLY. SUCH A KIND MAN IS THE IMPOSTOR FORMER BUN MAKER OF OXFORD CANTERBURY CURRENTLY FULL TIME FASCIST WHO ALWAYS SUPPORTS THE BAD ASTARDSNFROM THE BURMA JUNTA TO ANY OTHER FASCIST DICTATOR YOU CAN NAME.

GO THERE AND GIVE THESE HOLOCAUST NAZI PIGS SOME GOOD STICK ! GIVE THEM A GOOD TIME LIKE THE GOOD GUYS IN ISRAEL'S IDF COMAND GAVE THE PALESTINIANS

Neville Loudanus said...

Our problem is that we just don't see the big picture like Trevor Loudon does:

~ You see slaughter, Trevor Loudon sees 500 less communists, MahWanker sees 500 less holocaust deniers

~ You see protestors picketing the US consulate in Auckland, Trevor Loudon sees proto communists on their way to communist training camps in Hindu Kush, MahWanker sees holocaust deniers with picket signs

~ You see thousands of tonnes of bombs reigning down on Gazans, Trevor Loudon sees holocaust prevention techniques at play, MahWanker sees hundreds of holocaust deniers dying for their sins and going to hell for eternity.

~ You see dozens upon dozens of childrens bodies dashed to pieces from Israeli bombs, Trevor Loudon sees children that Hamas put under the bombs as they fell so they could be blown up along with the communists the Israelis were targetting, MahCockhead sees 'little' holocaust deniers that died for their sins and will burn in hell for eternity.

SNGN said...

Mad Mah Holocaust Nazi of New York sees blood of Palestinian children and gets all tingly in his jackbooted toes.

Oh I'd better stop this.....I can feel a bout of anti-shmemitism coming on.....

SNGN said...

Or is that a bout of anti-shmegmatism ?

Anonymous said...

Mah2009 would see the blood of those children and remember back to how Palestinians and holocaust deniers put his people into concentration camps during WWII.

SNGN said...

Not to forget Mrs Harriet Tomblinson of East Putney and her maiden niece Ngaio who were also criminally instrumental in the Holocaust.....

Preliator said...

Mr Loudon will never be a significant leader into the new millenia because he is someone who wallows in fear.

Mah Sturbulator said...

YOUR PEOPLES PROBLEM IS YOU HATE ISRAEL AND DENY THE HOLOCAUST...AND YOURE ALL CAUGHT IN A CARTESIAN IMPASSE!!!

Anonymous said...

SNGN your problem is you are a closet Jihadist that needs to get his arse up that Kyber Pass, and I dont mean on to Symond st either...