Here is our quick 5 steps to prevent your child from joining the Jihad.
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Step 1: Learn to spot the pre-signs of Jihad. This could be the movies they are watching, do they watch too many documentaries vs Hollywood blockbusters. This could be a sign that Jihad is building in your child. Your task as a parent is to ban educational documentaries, ban the watching of certain liberal shows like On the Matt, The Daily Show and other shows that lead to Jihad.
Step2: Begin surveillance on your children. Without being too over the top, hidden video cameras, paid informants are just two tools that will assist you in seeing jihad coming before its too late.
Step3: Talk regularly to your children about why they should be eating meat and destroying the environment. Spank any child (in love) that shows pre-signs that they may respect the environment and animals.
We need our children to understand that we need to eat animals because of the whole Cain and Abel sacrifice thing in the bible, and we know what happened to Cain the vegetarian...he became a terrorist jihadist.
Step 4: Identify the signs of Jihad. This could be a Che Guevara teeshirt, for boys it could be a lack of interest in guns, bombs and violence, for girls it could be a desire to not shave their armpits, wear perfume or go mall shopping. Once your child begins to show these signs, its pretty much a give in that they will be heading up the Kyber Pass into terror training in Hindu Kush.
Step 5: Act, once you have singled out the children that are beyond help, quickly have them shipped off to military school for retraining, at the very least, ring your local Precrimes Office and dob your child in.